Past Regrets
by x1-TaKeN-oVeR
Summary: Duo gets some things off his chest by writing Heero a very personal letter. 1x2 no not 2x1 this time...I know I'm pretty shocked myself, no romance in this one folks. Duo Angst


Wow, I was just looking around on my hard drive today and came upon this little baby. I had no idea I had even WRITTEN this thing. Surprised the hell out of me and didn't sound to bad so I decided to post it.

I was originally going to call it Untitled but figured Past Regrets was a bit more catchier. That seemed to be the mood of the story anyway...

Past Regrets

x1-TaKeN-oVeR

Angst, cursing

* * *

Hey. 

That's the first thing that I heard you say. I didn't expect much...never really did. Just seeing you was enough. You had grown, but not as much as I had. Reality's a bitch, ain't it? You used to tower over me during the war and I have no problems admitting that but now...well lets just say that things have changed. And I hope for the better.

You looked good.

I wanted to tell you that so bad but I didn't think that it was the right time. Even if it was, I wouldn't allow my self to utter those words. Why? Because you hurt me. I should've expected it but I was hoping with me that you'd be different. Circumstances, ya know? But I was wrong, nothing new there.

7 years.

It had been 7 long, and at times, unbearable years. Where the fuck have you been? What did you think you'd accomplish by leaving me like that, huh? Dammit I thought that I meant more to you than that. You couldn't even pick up the fucking _phone_ to call and make sure that I was _alive and breathing_. You know what I say to that?

_Fuck you!_

I have done just fine by myself...without you. Oh sure, there were times when I wished you were there but I got over them...just like I got over you.

I loved you.

Did you know that? And though at times I don't want to, I still do. You've taken a part of me...a vital part of me with you. Part of my heart. I don't mean to sound like those cheesy romanced ass-cracks but I don't know any other way to put it. I'll tell you straight up that it was hard after you left. I didn't know what to do with myself. I had fallen for you so hard that I...

Never mind.

Just forget it. It's over now and I just wanted you to know that. I think that I needed to say that myself. Finally, I've gotten my closure. I didn't care what you had to say. Now, you're just some sorry fuck who didn't know a good thing when he had it. I'm sure you'll bounce back because I wasn't that special to you anyway, was I? Probably not and that's okay. In a way you've helped me and I'll learn from my mistakes.

You'll miss me.

Believe me baby, you'll _miss _me when I'm _gone_. See now the tables have turned. 7 years ago you left me and that gave you the upper hand because you set the rules. Things ended on your terms and I guess things were going to pick up on your terms. You probably had a damn mission plan drawn up on the way things were going to play out but you were wrong. It's different now, you psychopathic asshole.

_It's different._

Now, I'm leaving you and damn but it feels good. It was fun while it lasted but that's all it was, I guess. I'll be fine though...I'll find love and this time it will be something special. I know late at night, if it hasn't already happened, you'll find yourself lonely and cold in your bed with no one there to comfort you but the shadows that come out at night. You'll wish I was there to chase away the demons, the nightmares, and the recurring soldier that finds his way into your conscience every now and again.

But I wont _be_ there.

I will be living my life to the fullest and enjoying every minute of it.

Goodbye.

Goodbye Heero Yuy, its been fun. Don't keep in touch, I'm sure it won't be to hard for you.

* * *

A crystalline tear fell onto the crisp, white stationary and Heero hurriedly wiped it away so it wouldn't soil the sheet. He set the paper down with a gentleness that he was not known for and crumpled to the ground. He buried his face into his hands and began to sob in pain. 

'_What have I done?'

* * *

_

So..whatcha think? Lemme know!


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